(no subject)
Sep. 8th, 2011 08:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
just2handsSome surgical procedures are best performed without assistance.
The calls and the texts slowed to a trickle, and then went unanswered. The excuses that had been made - plans postponed and finally dropped due to lack of enthusiasm or reply. The doors that were locked and the lights that were off when she drove by late at night, back from work. All of the times when he was 'out taking care of business' with his new friends, that biker club that she'd heard so many bad things about. And the rumors swirling around the pool-hall that they used to go to, so many rumors about how he was being seen with one blonde on the back of his bike (and on his lap), and then two. And when some of these rumors came with pictures? There could be no more doubt.
But, worse than the knowledge of what he had done, what he'd probably done several times? Worse than all of that was the silence, total and complete, as if she'd been cut off and cast adrift in the ocean alone. Far from his voice, from his touch. Far from their love - it had been love, hadn't it? Real love? Of course it had, it wouldn't feel like her heart was breaking it if wasn't. And her heart was falling to pieces inside her chest.
And then came the day when she woke up and felt down the thread for him, and realized he was hundreds, maybe thousands of miles away. Best as she could tell, he was somewhere off the coast of Australia, and getting further by the hour.
And he had never even said goodbye.
Each new piece of information, each sharp little shard of truth cut into Anika's soul. With force of will she pushed it all aside as she worked day in and out at the labs allowing the children, her patients to consume her time, her energy. Too busy to think, too tired to put the pieces together. Pieces that were right in front of her.
Too tired until finally she couldn't put it off any longer. Neph and Logan were gone, off to Italy of all places, for a wedding - one of Nephele's business friends. There was no one near, no one to be concerned, or to worry. No one to console her, no one to talk to. No one to worry.
Some things are best done alone.
Methodically Anika removed photos from their frames. The vacation picture of the two of them in Hawaii on the beach, the one with her laughing in his strong arms; the night she got the job with Selene's company; the photo of them together out on the open road with their bikes behind them on the side of the highway and the flat desert and the craggy mountains a far backdrop to their joy in each others' presence. Everything went into a box; his t-shirts, her souvenirs, the big stuffed shark he won at a fair for her, that she had kept because it reminded her of him. Everything had to go.
Tears were falling, they wouldn't stop falling, still she resolutely wiped them away. And she didn't hesitate, she didn't stop. Anika moved purposefully, quiet and deliberate. Her fingers slid over leather, folded denim, plucked the pins off the lapel of her jacket. It had to go. It all had to go. Just as he had made the choice to go.
Finally she paused, stared out the windows of the little beach house she'd been living in right on the edge of the Pacific. It was a coin toss, stay or go. Oh, maybe she could go back to the Howletts, of course Logan would let her if she asked, she was certain of it. But honestly? Anika tried to reason with herself as she stood there thinking. She'd gotten the place here more for her peace of mind while she studied. The fact that he could swim up to the shore and walk up out of the ocean into her arms at any time was a fringe bonus, nothing more. liar her mind whispered as she stared out at the water. Liar!
What Anika did do was to close the curtains to the sight of the waves. Too hard to see them and not think of him right now. Too hard to walk on the beach and not want him to be there. So yes, perhaps another location would be best. The young Doctor made mental note to try and call a Realtor the next day.
It took two boxes to get the reminders of him out of the house. Two boxes went into the back of the hybrid FJ Cruiser, left there until she could get them to the post office. The back door, the door facing the beach was locked and then the front. And the last thing she did while sitting in the front seat of her SUV to go down the list and delete his pictures off her phone. His pictures, his old saved texts and finally his phone number.
After all, if she were severing their love affair and cutting out her heart, she had to make sure that she made the cuts deep and sharp, and clean.
The calls and the texts slowed to a trickle, and then went unanswered. The excuses that had been made - plans postponed and finally dropped due to lack of enthusiasm or reply. The doors that were locked and the lights that were off when she drove by late at night, back from work. All of the times when he was 'out taking care of business' with his new friends, that biker club that she'd heard so many bad things about. And the rumors swirling around the pool-hall that they used to go to, so many rumors about how he was being seen with one blonde on the back of his bike (and on his lap), and then two. And when some of these rumors came with pictures? There could be no more doubt.
But, worse than the knowledge of what he had done, what he'd probably done several times? Worse than all of that was the silence, total and complete, as if she'd been cut off and cast adrift in the ocean alone. Far from his voice, from his touch. Far from their love - it had been love, hadn't it? Real love? Of course it had, it wouldn't feel like her heart was breaking it if wasn't. And her heart was falling to pieces inside her chest.
And then came the day when she woke up and felt down the thread for him, and realized he was hundreds, maybe thousands of miles away. Best as she could tell, he was somewhere off the coast of Australia, and getting further by the hour.
And he had never even said goodbye.
Each new piece of information, each sharp little shard of truth cut into Anika's soul. With force of will she pushed it all aside as she worked day in and out at the labs allowing the children, her patients to consume her time, her energy. Too busy to think, too tired to put the pieces together. Pieces that were right in front of her.
Too tired until finally she couldn't put it off any longer. Neph and Logan were gone, off to Italy of all places, for a wedding - one of Nephele's business friends. There was no one near, no one to be concerned, or to worry. No one to console her, no one to talk to. No one to worry.
Some things are best done alone.
Methodically Anika removed photos from their frames. The vacation picture of the two of them in Hawaii on the beach, the one with her laughing in his strong arms; the night she got the job with Selene's company; the photo of them together out on the open road with their bikes behind them on the side of the highway and the flat desert and the craggy mountains a far backdrop to their joy in each others' presence. Everything went into a box; his t-shirts, her souvenirs, the big stuffed shark he won at a fair for her, that she had kept because it reminded her of him. Everything had to go.
Tears were falling, they wouldn't stop falling, still she resolutely wiped them away. And she didn't hesitate, she didn't stop. Anika moved purposefully, quiet and deliberate. Her fingers slid over leather, folded denim, plucked the pins off the lapel of her jacket. It had to go. It all had to go. Just as he had made the choice to go.
Finally she paused, stared out the windows of the little beach house she'd been living in right on the edge of the Pacific. It was a coin toss, stay or go. Oh, maybe she could go back to the Howletts, of course Logan would let her if she asked, she was certain of it. But honestly? Anika tried to reason with herself as she stood there thinking. She'd gotten the place here more for her peace of mind while she studied. The fact that he could swim up to the shore and walk up out of the ocean into her arms at any time was a fringe bonus, nothing more. liar her mind whispered as she stared out at the water. Liar!
What Anika did do was to close the curtains to the sight of the waves. Too hard to see them and not think of him right now. Too hard to walk on the beach and not want him to be there. So yes, perhaps another location would be best. The young Doctor made mental note to try and call a Realtor the next day.
It took two boxes to get the reminders of him out of the house. Two boxes went into the back of the hybrid FJ Cruiser, left there until she could get them to the post office. The back door, the door facing the beach was locked and then the front. And the last thing she did while sitting in the front seat of her SUV to go down the list and delete his pictures off her phone. His pictures, his old saved texts and finally his phone number.
After all, if she were severing their love affair and cutting out her heart, she had to make sure that she made the cuts deep and sharp, and clean.
